you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
smell my finger.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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