she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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