I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
