My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
