I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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