Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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