its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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