If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize