Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the condom got lost in my hair
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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