Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont even know how to be here
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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