she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
