what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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