Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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