Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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