she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
