It's just like the Real World with babies
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
