I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
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I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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