As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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