Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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