My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
