dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
