There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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