I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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