try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
