At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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