I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize