peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize