You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize