I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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