Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
