i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
