And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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