it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
