i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
