So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize