I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
