smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
