Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
