Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
