Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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