Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
