Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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