I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
