he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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