You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize