I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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