I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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