Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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