just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
