If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
