big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
