All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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