Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
