She announced her abortion via fbk
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Houston, we have a blender
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Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.