sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.