i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year