How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
