Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
