She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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