can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
