Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
