I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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