This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
