He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
