I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Randomize
