Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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