apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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