the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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